We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

31 Flavours Volume 5 - Albatross

by Chris Combs

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.
    Purchasable with gift card

      name your price

     

1.
Benadere 01:58
once upon a good time in a land not far from here there was a small boy by the name of Benadere He minded his parents like he knew he should he saw to his chores and he saw that they were good he always believed what he was told the wisest of the land were those who were old But one day he heard a man singing to a crowd the things he said then filled his head with a brand new sound So he fished out all his pennies he kept in a jar he went to town and bought himself an electric guitar he practiced all day he practiced all night he played 'til his fingers bled and he blurred his eyesight before long he formed a band and went out on the road there he found a land of women always ready to go life became an insane daydream he had all he wished but that was not good enough there was something that he missed back at home he may not have been a hit but at least people gave him respect so he broke away from the group B-B-B-Benny and the Deers He returned home expecting love but all he got were jeers so he started another group and renounced his family name he went on to make a million dollars whining about his fame
2.
The Island 02:37
If you are the kind who needs a plot line that you can understand then let me warn you if you want to go to The Island You'll be met with a promising basis utterly destroyed by product placement we are to believe that this society has been completely destroyed but all evidence points to corporations so the 'twist' is no revelation Oh, The Island, what a pity you could have been great just like Dark City but you decided to go for action to fatten up explosions while letting the plot thin I walked in with an open mind Expecting to be pleasantly surprised But before long it went all wrong 'let's find any way to have a car chase' if you're going to do sci-fi then you have to ask why is any of this happening? and it had better make sense and not be at the expense of your paying audience Oh, The Island, what are you doing? Ruining the name of my boy Ewan All right so maybe Lucas beat you isn't there one thing that those prequels can teach you? Mr. Bay please if you can hear me please answer this: wouldn't the driver stop when those train wheels were dropped from that truck of his? and why were train wheels even there when in the future trains float on air? and the LAPD responding so quickly about a murder in another state? and everything's futuristic save for cars? and our heroine gets through without any scars? Oh, The Island, I'm so mad at ya now I need to rewatch Gattaca just to wash you from my mind or maybe I should try some turpentine or wine with cyanide perhaps a spike in both my eyes anything to cauterize my brain
3.
In New York City on 42 and 9 There's an intersection that gives the hardest time four lanes both ways and fickle lights sometimes I wonder how I cross with my life Now I'm always careful looking left and right up and down and all around for the changing light but tonight I witnessed something I've never seen traffic more horrific than in all my frightening dreams I heard a roaring engine I looked left to see a car driving backwards headed right for me Congratulations You're the Asshat of the Week Congratulations Asshat of the Week I stood out of the way watching in disbelief Surely Allen Funt is filming just across the street But it wasn't funny and the car kept coming finally slowed to a stop and was pulled over by a cop what you did was stupid somebody could be hurt Not to mention you ran a redlight while driving in reverse I hope they take your license and end your stupid streak and I really hope a bigger asshat doesn't come around next week Congratulations You're the Asshat of the Week Congratulations Asshat of the Week Congratulations Asshat of the Week
4.
Introducing VP-RX penis enlargement pills VP-RX will take your sex life to new levels... Guaranteed! Your penis will grow up to 3 inches Your erections will be rock hard Your sex drive will be supercharged Your orgasms will be more intense Generic Viagra! Generic Viagra! Generic Viagra! Generic Viagra! Your partner will be astounded 100% Safe to use, no side effects Get VP-RX now! Discontinue receiving offers
5.
Why must a song have words? Why must a song have words? Is it a scheme to keep my amplifier volume down? Why can't I dream without verbs or nouns? There must be a reason for it Why must a song have words? Why must a song have words? Is it a way for the man to hold me down? What's he got against instrumental sound? I'll bet he's got no talent That's why a song must have words That's why a song must have words
6.
7.
You say you've seen it all nothing out there impresses everthing you see you reject It seems to me you're jaded or possibly inundated with the belief hipsters are correct well that's not the case There's a world laid out there for you I can't believe how it could bore you There's so much out there to see Take a moment and look around you Everything could possibly astound you if only you let your mind go free when the public responds with applause you denounce it as trash because you won't let them tell you how to think don't you see that when they approve of it and you always choose the opposite you're letting them control you anyway? stop being a puppet doesn't matter what anybody says you are free to make your own choices no one can tell you you are wrong no interest compared or measured no such thing as a guilty pleasure if you like it you like it that is all 'Hey, check out my walkman! It only plays cassette tapes. Isn't that cool?' 'Oh, didn't you hear? Ironic use of old technology is out. Everybody's doing it now.' 'Huh, I never thought I'd see the day.' so throw out all of your hipster playthings the t-shirts with ironic sayings and Cuban leaders you've never known don't fall into their mentality and their skewed view of reality you're in your 20s now prove you've grown get out there and start doing something forget about public recognition you only need to please yourself stop blogging about everything but you don't you know you sound like a fool when you copy and paste from somewhere else? don't be a hipster don't be a hipster don't be a hipster
8.
I looked up to see you walking away I thought you were going to stay How am I supposed to finish my play without you? without your presence? without your hair? I thought you had the program well in hand Why did you go? Was it something I said, oh Come back, Ginger (Come back, Ginger) Come back, Ginger (Come back, Ginger) Come back, Ginger I hope I might see you again Perhaps you'll be charged with possession And you'll get more hours of service And once again you can work with us for a bit
9.
We met behind bars because she didn't want to drink and she did not like smoke she only wanted me we met behind bars away from all the noise she said I was different than all those rowdy boys my verbs got tense when I wanted to say that I loved her very much and we should go away I longed to say she was perfect had a lovely type of face wouldn't want to modify her for that would be misplaced And she wonders if I am sincere she asked me if I really meant the things I said or were they just clever puns somewhere that I had read I told her it was true that I loved to see her smile without it I would drown if I were in the Nile And she still wonders if I am sincere
10.
Delta Blues 03:25
Ain't got no crew To fly me outta here Ain't got no crew To fly me outta here Just need a pilot, then we'll be in the air Now they can't the plane it was parked over there Now they can't the plane it was parked over there No other flights are missing, it just isn't fair Oh Delta Airlines, you disappoint me so Oh Delta Airlines, you disappoint me so You're name means change, but you refuse to grow The flight from this mornin' hasn't left the ground The flight from this mornin' hasn't left the ground Why can't it be like all the others around? A storm she's a-brewin' Can't fly in that, I know A storm she's a-brewin' Can't fly in that, I know But we were supposed to leave 4 hours ago! Oh Delta Airlines, you disappoint me so Oh Delta Airlines, you disappoint me so You're name means change, but you refuse to grow Now it's finally cancelled and no flights for days Now it's finally cancelled and no flights for days So I guess I'll home in my airline rage
11.
I live alone and I have no money that leads to research that often turns out funny When I'm in the kitchen I will try something new and every failed attempt I will pass along to you Carrying out the research that you do not care to Carrying out the research that you would not dare Carrying out the research that you do not care to know I was out of sauce for my spaghetti dinner and I was out of sugar as well Thinking that cinnamon is just as sweet I quickly concocted a main course from hell Carrying out the research that you do not care to Carrying out the research that you would not dare Carrying out the research that you do not care to know Mac and cheese wants to be combined with milk but if you are me then that stuff isn't around milk is really a solution of water and fat but it's just not the same as juice from a cow Carrying out the research that you do not care to Carrying out the research that you would not dare Carrying out the research that you do not care to know Every now and then I'm seduced by a product that I see on a grocer's shelf Black Cherry Vanilla Coke seemed so appetizing but now I wish that I could gut myself Carrying out the research that you do not care to Carrying out the research that you would not dare Carrying out the research that you do not care to know
12.
I met this girl She was so fine I knew right then I had to make her mine And so I asked her I had to know But as it turns out she is a pro Fifteen hundred dollars an hour not including the tip After trying to talk her down we came up with this For 20 dollars a week Less than a case of beer I get to upwrap her for Christmas next year If I can make timely payments she'll throw in another 15 minutes I put my call girl on layaway call girl on layaway I'll get to have her someday I put my call girl on layaway But I can't afford that on minimum wage But I really need her to be my love slave She says that's okay she understands she also has a 3-year payment plan And apart from cash She'll also take Moo Shu from her favourite Chinese place So every weekend I buy her dinner and get four bucks closer to being in her Fifteen hundred dollars an hour and Chinese food's so cheap it seems like it will take forever to take her home with me I put my call girl on layaway call girl on layaway that's 36 months of foreplay I put my call girl on layaway 75 minutes of ecstasy gonna fulfill all my fantasies I'll tie her up and spank her and put her on her knees and when I'm finished using her she'll do the same to me she'll tell me I'm a bad boy she'll dress like Donna Reed she make me wash her dishes while wearing her panties she'll cinch a belt around my neck while swinging from a trapeze pretty much everything in Sex Games For Dummies and if there's time left over after these depravities we'll have sex! Now fourteen hundred dollars later I've brought a C note and I can date her show up to her place and open the door there she is lying on the floor She is a victim of poisoning most likely from all that MSG Oh I bet she's just pretending 'cause she knows that one of my fantasies I put my call girl on layaway call girl on layaway best investment I ever made I put my call girl on layaway

credits

released August 31, 2010

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Planga-La Laboratories New York, New York

contact / help

Contact Planga-La Laboratories

Streaming and
Download help

Report this album or account

Planga-La Laboratories recommends:

If you like 31 Flavours Volume 5 - Albatross, you may also like: