1. |
Benadere
01:58
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once upon a good time
in a land not far from here
there was a small boy
by the name of Benadere
He minded his parents
like he knew he should
he saw to his chores and
he saw that they were good
he always believed
what he was told
the wisest of the land
were those who were old
But one day he heard a man
singing to a crowd
the things he said then filled his head
with a brand new sound
So he fished out all his pennies
he kept in a jar
he went to town and bought himself
an electric guitar
he practiced all day
he practiced all night
he played 'til his fingers bled
and he blurred his eyesight
before long he formed a band
and went out on the road
there he found a land of women
always ready to go
life became an insane daydream
he had all he wished
but that was not good enough
there was something that he missed
back at home
he may not have been a hit
but at least people
gave him respect
so he broke away from the group
B-B-B-Benny and the Deers
He returned home expecting love
but all he got were jeers
so he started another group
and renounced his family name
he went on to make a million dollars
whining about his fame
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2. |
The Island
02:37
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If you are the kind
who needs a plot line
that you can understand
then let me warn you
if you want to
go to The Island
You'll be met with a promising basis
utterly destroyed by product placement
we are to believe
that this society
has been completely destroyed
but all evidence points to corporations
so the 'twist' is no revelation
Oh, The Island, what a pity
you could have been great just like Dark City
but you decided to go for action
to fatten up explosions while letting the plot thin
I walked in with an open mind
Expecting to be pleasantly surprised
But before long
it went all wrong
'let's find any way
to have a car chase'
if you're going to do sci-fi
then you have to ask why
is any of this happening?
and it had better make sense
and not be at the expense
of your paying audience
Oh, The Island, what are you doing?
Ruining the name of my boy Ewan
All right so maybe Lucas beat you
isn't there one thing that those prequels can teach you?
Mr. Bay please
if you can hear me
please answer this:
wouldn't the driver stop
when those train wheels were dropped
from that truck of his?
and why were train wheels even there
when in the future trains float on air?
and the LAPD
responding so quickly
about a murder in another state?
and everything's futuristic save for cars?
and our heroine gets through without any scars?
Oh, The Island, I'm so mad at ya
now I need to rewatch Gattaca
just to wash you from my mind
or maybe I should try some turpentine
or wine with cyanide
perhaps a spike in both my eyes
anything to cauterize
my brain
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3. |
Asshat Of The Week
02:27
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In New York City
on 42 and 9
There's an intersection
that gives the hardest time
four lanes both ways
and fickle lights
sometimes I wonder
how I cross with my life
Now I'm always careful
looking left and right
up and down and all around
for the changing light
but tonight I witnessed
something I've never seen
traffic more horrific
than in all my frightening dreams
I heard a roaring engine
I looked left to see
a car driving backwards
headed right for me
Congratulations
You're the Asshat of the Week
Congratulations
Asshat of the Week
I stood out of the way
watching in disbelief
Surely Allen Funt is filming
just across the street
But it wasn't funny
and the car kept coming
finally slowed to a stop
and was pulled over by a cop
what you did was stupid
somebody could be hurt
Not to mention you ran a redlight
while driving in reverse
I hope they take your license
and end your stupid streak
and I really hope a bigger asshat
doesn't come around next week
Congratulations
You're the Asshat of the Week
Congratulations
Asshat of the Week
Congratulations
Asshat of the Week
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4. |
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00:55
|
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5. |
||||
Why must a song have words?
Why must a song have words?
Is it a scheme to keep my amplifier volume down?
Why can't I dream without verbs or nouns?
There must be a reason for it
Why must a song have words?
Why must a song have words?
Is it a way for the man to hold me down?
What's he got against instrumental sound?
I'll bet he's got no talent
That's why a song must have words
That's why a song must have words
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6. |
Chipmunk Suicide
01:44
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7. |
Don't Be A Hipster
02:44
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You say you've seen it all
nothing out there impresses
everthing you see you reject
It seems to me you're jaded
or possibly inundated
with the belief hipsters are correct
well that's not the case
There's a world laid out there for you
I can't believe how it could bore you
There's so much out there to see
Take a moment and look around you
Everything could possibly astound you
if only you let your mind go free
when the public responds with applause
you denounce it as trash because
you won't let them tell you how to think
don't you see that when they approve of it
and you always choose the opposite
you're letting them control you anyway?
stop being a puppet
doesn't matter what anybody says
you are free to make your own choices
no one can tell you you are wrong
no interest compared or measured
no such thing as a guilty pleasure
if you like it you like it that is all
'Hey, check out my walkman! It only plays cassette tapes. Isn't that cool?'
'Oh, didn't you hear? Ironic use of old technology is out. Everybody's doing it now.'
'Huh, I never thought I'd see the day.'
so throw out all of your hipster playthings
the t-shirts with ironic sayings
and Cuban leaders you've never known
don't fall into their mentality
and their skewed view of reality
you're in your 20s now prove you've grown
get out there and start doing something
forget about public recognition
you only need to please yourself
stop blogging about everything but you
don't you know you sound like a fool
when you copy and paste from somewhere else?
don't be a hipster
don't be a hipster
don't be a hipster
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8. |
Come Back Ginger
02:24
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I looked up
to see you walking away
I thought
you were going to stay
How am I
supposed to finish my play without you?
without your presence?
without your hair?
I thought you had
the program well in hand
Why did you go?
Was it something I said, oh
Come back, Ginger (Come back, Ginger)
Come back, Ginger (Come back, Ginger)
Come back, Ginger
I hope
I might see you again
Perhaps you'll be
charged with possession
And you'll get
more hours of service
And once again
you can work with us
for a bit
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9. |
We Met Behind Bars
01:44
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We met behind bars
because she didn't want to drink
and she did not like smoke
she only wanted me
we met behind bars
away from all the noise
she said I was different
than all those rowdy boys
my verbs got tense
when I wanted to say
that I loved her very much
and we should go away
I longed to say she was perfect
had a lovely type of face
wouldn't want to modify her
for that would be misplaced
And she wonders if I am sincere
she asked me if I
really meant the things I said
or were they just clever puns
somewhere that I had read
I told her it was true
that I loved to see her smile
without it I would drown
if I were in the Nile
And she still wonders if I am sincere
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10. |
Delta Blues
03:25
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Ain't got no crew
To fly me outta here
Ain't got no crew
To fly me outta here
Just need a pilot, then we'll be in the air
Now they can't the plane
it was parked over there
Now they can't the plane
it was parked over there
No other flights are missing, it just isn't fair
Oh Delta Airlines, you disappoint me so
Oh Delta Airlines, you disappoint me so
You're name means change, but you refuse to grow
The flight from this mornin'
hasn't left the ground
The flight from this mornin'
hasn't left the ground
Why can't it be like all the others around?
A storm she's a-brewin'
Can't fly in that, I know
A storm she's a-brewin'
Can't fly in that, I know
But we were supposed to leave 4 hours ago!
Oh Delta Airlines, you disappoint me so
Oh Delta Airlines, you disappoint me so
You're name means change, but you refuse to grow
Now it's finally cancelled
and no flights for days
Now it's finally cancelled
and no flights for days
So I guess I'll home in my airline rage
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11. |
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I live alone
and I have no money
that leads to research
that often turns out funny
When I'm in the kitchen
I will try something new
and every failed attempt
I will pass along to you
Carrying out the research
that you do not care to
Carrying out the research
that you would not dare
Carrying out the research
that you do not care to know
I was out of sauce
for my spaghetti dinner
and I was out
of sugar as well
Thinking that cinnamon
is just as sweet
I quickly concocted
a main course from hell
Carrying out the research
that you do not care to
Carrying out the research
that you would not dare
Carrying out the research
that you do not care to know
Mac and cheese wants to be
combined with milk
but if you are me then that stuff
isn't around
milk is really a solution
of water and fat
but it's just not the same
as juice from a cow
Carrying out the research
that you do not care to
Carrying out the research
that you would not dare
Carrying out the research
that you do not care to know
Every now and then
I'm seduced by a product
that I see
on a grocer's shelf
Black Cherry Vanilla Coke
seemed so appetizing
but now I wish
that I could gut myself
Carrying out the research
that you do not care to
Carrying out the research
that you would not dare
Carrying out the research
that you do not care to know
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12. |
Call Girl On Layaway
05:26
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I met this girl
She was so fine
I knew right then
I had to make her mine
And so I asked her
I had to know
But as it turns out
she is a pro
Fifteen hundred dollars an hour
not including the tip
After trying to talk her down
we came up with this
For 20 dollars a week
Less than a case of beer
I get to upwrap her
for Christmas next year
If I can make
timely payments
she'll throw in another
15 minutes
I put my call girl on layaway
call girl on layaway
I'll get to have her someday
I put my call girl on layaway
But I can't afford that
on minimum wage
But I really need her
to be my love slave
She says that's okay
she understands
she also has a
3-year payment plan
And apart from cash
She'll also take
Moo Shu from her
favourite Chinese place
So every weekend
I buy her dinner
and get four bucks closer
to being in her
Fifteen hundred dollars an hour
and Chinese food's so cheap
it seems like it will take forever
to take her home with me
I put my call girl on layaway
call girl on layaway
that's 36 months of foreplay
I put my call girl on layaway
75 minutes of ecstasy
gonna fulfill all my fantasies
I'll tie her up and spank her
and put her on her knees
and when I'm finished using her
she'll do the same to me
she'll tell me I'm a bad boy
she'll dress like Donna Reed
she make me wash her dishes
while wearing her panties
she'll cinch a belt around my neck
while swinging from a trapeze
pretty much everything in
Sex Games For Dummies
and if there's time left over
after these depravities
we'll have sex!
Now fourteen hundred
dollars later
I've brought a C note
and I can date her
show up to her place
and open the door
there she is lying
on the floor
She is a victim of poisoning
most likely from all that MSG
Oh I bet she's just pretending
'cause she knows that one of my fantasies
I put my call girl on layaway
call girl on layaway
best investment I ever made
I put my call girl on layaway
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