If you are the kind
who needs a plot line
that you can understand

then let me warn you
if you want to
go to The Island

You'll be met with a promising basis
utterly destroyed by product placement

we are to believe
that this society
has been completely destroyed

but all evidence points to corporations
so the 'twist' is no revelation

Oh, The Island, what a pity
you could have been great just like Dark City
but you decided to go for action
to fatten up explosions while letting the plot thin


I walked in with an open mind
Expecting to be pleasantly surprised

But before long
it went all wrong
'let's find any way
to have a car chase'

if you're going to do sci-fi
then you have to ask why
is any of this happening?

and it had better make sense
and not be at the expense
of your paying audience

Oh, The Island, what are you doing?
Ruining the name of my boy Ewan
All right so maybe Lucas beat you
isn't there one thing that those prequels can teach you?


Mr. Bay please
if you can hear me
please answer this:

wouldn't the driver stop
when those train wheels were dropped
from that truck of his?

and why were train wheels even there
when in the future trains float on air?

and the LAPD
responding so quickly
about a murder in another state?

and everything's futuristic save for cars?
and our heroine gets through without any scars?

Oh, The Island, I'm so mad at ya
now I need to rewatch Gattaca
just to wash you from my mind
or maybe I should try some turpentine
or wine with cyanide
perhaps a spike in both my eyes
anything to cauterize
my brain